All's Well That End's Falwell

To us in the booming Christianity industry, Jerry was our Bill Gates, only he made his money marketing the actual bugs instead of the patches. So fleet was his ability to turn any sorrow or situation into an opportunity to tout the politics of self-satisfaction, he never seemed to get bogged down in all those many words Jesus blathered, long before America, when Christians were surprised to have a house, not disappointed not to have a beach house.

The type of Christians Jerry spoke to were rich people looking to get richer -- or poor people stupid enough to give what little they had to make those rich people's selfish dreams come true. While Jesus commanded that we help the poor, Jerry was a man less preoccupied with poor helpings than second helpings. Frankly, Jerry was always more devout when it came to the GOP than the GOD. The Secret History of Jerry Falwell